I'M ON THE PLANE, DAHLING

No one on this planet could possibly hate flying more than I do, but I have a feeling that's about to change, courtesy of the EU's announcement that its scrapping its ban on cell phone use on planes. EU officials state emphatically that additional safeguards have been put in place to “protect against terrorism”, but have any of these morons stopped to consider the inevitable fist-fights that will almost surely follow when someone decides they've had enough of “I'M ON THE PLANE, JA, DAHLING”?

The prospect of queuing for hours with your shoes and belt off while rude, power-drunk airport officials manhandle you “in the interests of your own safety” has, of late, been enough to send many travellers into overdrive. Terminal Five at Heathrow has already given most of us yet another reason to avoid flying anywhere near London, but do the powers-that-be really want to give weary, harrassed and inevitably-delayed air travellers the incentive to go completely nuclear?

As bearers of conflicting security messages extract lipsticks and jars of Pond's cold cream from old ladies, acres of half-drunk bottles of Coke and water sufficient to wash the world's laundry accumulate and arguments ensue about whether it's actually reasonable to alleviate travellers of their Duty Free purchases. All this after someone has smiled while telling you that you can't in fact take any luggage on board (“Madam, are you becoming aggressive? Because I must tell you, if you become aggressive I will call security.”)

No wonder many of us are only too pleased to avail of the booze the trolley dollies insist on plying us with. Problem is, we all know what happens when you combine a seriously pissed off person with, um, a seriously pissed person....

The irony is that, even as the beaurocrats tell us that cell phones pose absolutely no terrorism threat whatsoever (and I'm sorry, but if ever there's a trigger of choice, the cell phone has to be it), security staff the world over will continue to convince us that that emery board, “travel” tube of toothpaste and – horror of horrors – bottle of Fanta you're carrying constitute a clear and present danger.

After all that, you sit down thinking it's time your head got a little peace when ““I'M ON THE PLANE, JA, DAHLING” starts before the drinks trolley has even been unclipped and you're included in the finer details of little Brittany's piano lessons, how Frikkie really stuck it to those okes in sales or the not-so-quiet whispers of extroverts who have decided that, just because they're travelling alone, doesn't mean they can't at least try and join the Mile-High Club.

All this before the person in front of you reclines their seat all the way?

www.seat61.com. You know you'll thank me for it.

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No Affinity for Women

Research undertaken by the University of Wisconsin's Kathleen Dolan has found that while women voters support female candidates in elections, “they are evaluated in the same way that all candidates are evaluated, through the lens of personal and political considerations that take many forms.” Having examined American National Election Study (NES) data, Dolan concluded that there was no evidence for a consistent or marked gender swing, with information about the candidate and their stance on important issues being the main yardstick by which women assess female candidates.

While none of this surprises me in the least, neither does the ongoing waste of column inches dedicated to Hillary Clinton's hair, “power/dyke suits”, feminism and other spurious rubbish that apparently informs the need to undertake a study of this nature in the first place.

Former Clinton Advisor Dick Morris dedicated almost an entire book (“Re-writing History”) to attacking the former First Lady almost exclusively on the grounds of her duplicity and false image projection – as demonstrated by her changing hair-dos, fashion choices and attempts to appeal to ordinary American women by referring to her life with her husband (everyone knows the bitch hates stay-at-home moms, so why pretend?). When Slick Willy engaged in a little showmanship, that was different, for some reason. Hillary's abandonment of her jam-jar-glasses and bad hair are trotted out as evidence of her single-minded mission to deceive voters into liking her; meanwhile, her husband's endless prevarication on a variety of issues was evidence of his pragmatism. Even when she stood by him in the midst of the Lewinsky scandal, she couldn't win.

Which brings me back to the research which, for me anyway, underlines the prevalence of sexism in society every bit as much as some of the unadulterated misogyny that passes for comment in some anti-Hillary Clinton circles (if you think I'm being over-the-top by calling it misogyny, take a look at the web site for Citizens United Not Timid, which asks the seemingly-rhetorical question “What is Hillary”?). Interpreting the suggestion that women voting for women is proof of some kind of gender-induced idiocy (academics prefer the slightly-less-insulting “gender affinity effect”) not only leaves you wondering what a woman has to do these days to not have her opinion discounted, but also begs the question of why no one seems to think it might be just as informative to examine whether or not men wouldn't vote for women purely on gender grounds as well. Indeed, Dolan's research indicates that “women are more supportive of women candidates than are men”, suggesting that there is a case to answer.

That a female professor of Political Science thinks such a study – entitled “Is there a 'Gender Affinity Effect' in American Politics?” - is necessary in 2008 indicates that we still live in a world where women seem unable to seek political office or power without being chained to a stereotypical version of their gender.

Slice it whatever way you like it, but a study such as this, in some way “proving” that women can be trusted with their votes, is as much evidence of how far we haven't come as it is that it's time to simply let women “be”. It seems that there's even a glass ceiling on having an opinion. Worse still, given male responses to women candidates, it seems that issues around topics like birth control, education, social justice and gender equality continue to have a similar, see-through lid firmly in place over them. Le plus le change...

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